Look! In the sky...

Apr 30, 2019
4 min read

A few days ago I was at Chuck-E-Cheese with some family, and something transpired that brought me to a complete stop. I stood, heart pounding, as I processed what happened. My youngest son Noah, and niece, Lyric, met up for a play date. The older boys decided that they were, indeed, too old for Chuck-E-Cheese, and opted to stay home with their dad to play video games. Nevertheless, Noah and I pressed our way as he chanted "Lyr-ic! Lyr-ic!" in the backseat. I got there late, and a lot of fun had already been had. As my niece ran up to Noah, and grabbed his hand they were handed the game cards, and bag for their tickets and told to go play. I was offered a salad to eat while the kids went and had a good time. At the suggestion I immediately became torn between complying with the generous offer and my natural instinct to hover. Now let me take a minute to explain what I mean by hover. What I am NOT advocating for is suffocating our kids to the point of stunting their emotional and social development. When I say I hover I mean that I like to be far enough away to give the kids some sense of freedom, but close enough to monitor what's going on.

I had a decision to make. While I didn’t want to disappoint I also remember looking around at the overly crowded play area and thinking “I don’t know these people!” After relating that I would stick with the kids, and seeing the disappointment I turned around and couldn’t find them. The 7-year-old had walked off with the 3-year-old. Now even though the play area wasn't huge I couldn't spot them. I seemed to walk around and around in circles. I had to fight the urge to yell for everyone to STOP MOVING! Every parent knows the feeling when they, for whatever reason, are becoming more and more anxious. After my mother-in -law found them (she found them almost immediately lol) we spent the next 40 minutes taking them around and having fun. They played everything they could find! Noah loved collecting the tickets and pushing random buttons! It was hilarious!

Then something happened. After notifying one of the staff members that the ski-ball game was malfunctioning we were allowed several free games. Games during which the kids were blindly rolling (and semi-throwing ) the balls up the ramp. We found ourselves embarrassingly going after stray balls. We were caught between me helping Noah with his roll, and my mother-in-law tracking down a loose ball or two. I was keeping my eye on both kiddos as Ms. Nett called out "I got it."

My niece was about 5 feet away on another ski-ball lane (in her own world) having a good time when a strange man walked up. One of her balls had gotten away from her. He recovered it, and handed it back to her. He then began trying to engage her in conversation. I immediately felt my mommy instincts kick into a higher gear. My mother-in-law and myself let the man know by a tight proximity that whatever his agenda... it was not welcome. At one point Ms. Nett actually positioned herself between the man and my niece while taking the ball he was trying to hand her. The strangest thing was that he never actually spoke to either of us. Instead, he continually tried to engage my niece and son by making comments and even cheering for them. We didn’t make a scene, but every move he made to either make physical contact, or draw a response from one of the children either Ms. Nett or myself would intercept. Eventually he gave up his campaign and left. As I watched him leave I noticed that he didn't have any children with him.

We left soon afterward having struggled with helping a toddler and 2nd grader understand that they couldn’t get a 1500 ticket prize with 300 tickets! Lol! As soon as I got in the car I had a picture of what could have happened had I sat down and ate that offered salad. Who would have been there to guard our babies from a strange encounter.

The lesson: It is our parental responsibility to hover. This means we must be far enough away to give our kids the illusion of freedom while making sure we are close enough should they need us. So often we leave our kids unguarded because we are given a false sense of security, or we trust that if they need us they will call. The truth of the matter is that they could very well need us, and not realize it. My niece and son were playing a game and had no idea what was going on around them. They were so consumed with tickets and fun that they didn't even see the potential danger. Weekly we are shown stories of neighborhoods, and events that are assumed “safe” transgressed upon by an act of violence and maliciousness. A kid is taken from a playground while the parent sits reading. A child is sent to children's church, and exposed to the unnatural desires of the person who is supposed to be caring for them. A quiet neighborhood is shaken when someone within it commits a heinous crime. A school system is rocked when an illicit relationship between a teenager and a teacher surfaces.

I submit to you that there isn't any place too safe. There's no one off limits when it comes to the protection of our kids.

Our culture tries to condition us as parents to ignore our instincts because of our kids' age, surroundings, and other people’s standards and expectations. We leave them unattended with their phones, computers, and social media accounts. We let them go off behind the closed doors of their rooms, and follow after non-vetted friendships. And because people say things like “Let them grow up!” Or “They’ll be fine!” We feel like our instincts are abnormal. We are being “extra” and “too much”. But I ask you... in the world that we live in... what is "too much?!"

Too much parenting

Too much guidance

Too much care

Too much watchfulness

I encourage you today to HOVER AWAY! Keep watch... embrace your instincts! Every risk must be calculated. Every person our children is exposed to must be weighed. They need our constant presence, and protection against strange encounters no matter where it may come from. Give them the illusion of freedom while closely watching their backs. To ignore our instincts is to open our kids up to the possibility of unhealthy agendas around and WITHIN them! We must be ever ready to be the buffer between our legacies, and ANYTHING that presents itself as a threat.